Beat Happenings No. 8: Ryuzo and the Seven Henchmen
‘OLD GUYS RULE!’
Hi, I’m Bryan and this is my newsletter, Beat Happenings. Each installment focuses on Japanese comedian, TV host, actor, and filmmaker Takeshi Kitano, a.k.a. Beat Takeshi, and one of his yakuza films. This week, a slight change of pace as fellow Kitano fan Andrew Zebulon Williams joins me to liveblog the Australian (we think) trailer for Ryuzo and the Seven Henchmen.
Ryuzo and the Seven Henchmen (2015)
Originally, this week’s issue was going to be about the final part of the Outrage trilogy, Outrage Coda. But then I realized that would mean skipping Kitano’s eight yakuza film, Ryuzo and the Seven Henchmen (2015). I couldn’t find out much about the movie, other than that it was a comedy and not particularly well thought of (although the Japan Times says "prepare to laugh"). But after watching the amazing trailer on YouTube, and subsequently sharing that clip with Andrew, it seemed like something that we just had to watch ... and liveblog. Unfortunately, neither of us could figure out a way of getting our hands on the full movie, as it was never officially released in the U.S., so we’ve decided to “liveblog” the minute-long trailer instead.
BH: Before diving into Ryuzo and the Seven Henchmen, what is your general impression of Beat Takeshi/Takeshi Kitano?
AZW: I guess that he is Very Cool and that it makes sense that he was first a comedian because he seems like he would be very funny/good to hang out with. He has this very, like, straight-faced bearing, but his eyes seem like they're laughing? He seems funny even when he's jabbing someone with an ice pick or something. But not in the, like, Tarantino “violence is funny!” way; more like, “isn’t life absurd?”
BH: Yeah, I think to him life is extremely absurd. And that's why he isn't making any moral judgments. Even if you are in the right in one of his movies, you probably are wrong about something else. We definitely watched Sonatine as roommates, was that the first time you watched one of his movies? And what did you think of it?
AZW: Yeah, it must have been. I guess to me Sonatine is like the middle act of a heist movie, where they “hideout” or regroup or something before the “big score”—but stretched out to a full-length existential mobster movie. I mean it's almost a misnomer to call it a mob movie? It's really a mishmash of genres. Boiling Point is like that too.
BH: I think the best of his yakuza films aren't really mob movies even though this entire newsletter is dedicated to them.
AZW: Yeah, they are using the genre or idea of mob movies, or the yakuza, to explore something deeper and weirder. The yakuza is pretty weird anyway.
BH: Okay, so the Ryuzo and the Seven Henchmen trailer is only a minute long, so I figured we’d watch it a few times and talk about it.
AZW: Ryuzo has cool hair.
BH: There’s a lot of talk about “old farts.” [Editor’s note: the phrase is used five times in the trailer!]
AZW: I expected the movie to be called Old Farts. Beat also has a weird hairdo in this. Is it bleached?
BH: Yeah, his hair looks like that in the Outrage films. He has like leopard spots bleached into it.
AZW: That’s cool, I want to do that. Did it say “OLD GUYS RULE” at the end?
BH: Yes, it did. That will be the subtitle of this issue actually—“OLD GUYS RULE!” Okay, so first impressions?
AZW: Well, it's unclear what the movie is about exactly—I guess like, old yakuza guys are mad at younger yakuza guys?
BH: I feel like it’s about “old farts” getting back in the game, but I have no idea what the actual impetus for Ryuzo getting them all together is.
AZW: Yeah, there's zero sense of what their motivation is for coming out of retirement or whatever. Not clear what Beat's role is in all this. He appears to be a cop?
BH: Yeah. Every time he plays a cop, he wears a coach’s jacket. It’s his visual signifier for a cop.
AZW: I guess it does read as, like, “FBI agent' or “swat team guy.” He seems to be saying in that one scene like, “I know these old farts are annoying but what can I do?”
BH: Okay, so let’s focus on the old guys this time—the henchmen.
AZW: The Toilet Assassin??
BH: Think about it, there are lots of deaths in bathrooms in yakuza movies. I can think of a handful in the Kitano films I've watched for the newsletter.
AZW: True. In many mob movies, I guess
BH: The “toilet” is a place where even tough guys are allowed to be vulnerable.
AZW: One of the henchmen sort of looks like Roger Stone.The guy at the end in the silk shirt. And Taka, the razor slasher, sort of looks like my grandpa.
BH: Let me do a rundown of the seven henchmen. We have: Lieutenant Masa; Mokichi, the toilet assassin; Mac, the quick shooter; Hide, the 6-inch nail; Taka, the razor slasher, Ichizo, the can man; and Yasu, the kamikaze.
AZW: Oh, Masa is the Roger Stone guy.
BH: I’m intrigued by Mac, the “quick shooter.” I like his style—a black leather jacket and a white scarf.
AZW: Very sick.
BH: I also feel like his name has two possible meanings: 1) He's fast on the trigger (most likely) or 2) He's a hothead who is quick to start shooting.
AZW: It's probably both, to be honest. I'd like to know more about the cane man—is he using a cane as a weapon? He also seems to be wearing kimono in all the scenes
BH: I also like that the toilet assassin, Mokichi, is wearing a three-piece suit and bowtie.
AZW: I'm wondering if Yasu is a literal kamikaze? He's flying an old plane in the trailer, so maybe so. But then what is his association with the yakuza? Which leads to the question of...are these guys, in fact, old yakuza? I'm assuming they are, but maybe only Ryuzo is? I don’t know.
BH: A last note about the henchman—what is a 'six-inch nail'?
AZW: I mean, that's fairly long for a nail but not exactly menacing. I think Beat is only in there for two scenes?
BH: But he does most of the talking! He's clearly trying to talk Ryuzo out of declaring all-out war, I assume.
AZW: I realize now that Beat is talking to Ryuzo and he's like “I know you hate those young guys, but chill out.” I had it backward before, I think. Finally at the end, though, he's just like, “you're ALL under arrest!” Beat is fed up!
BH: He’s very good at playing “jaded” and this is that with a smile.
AZW: Yeah, he's like, charmed by them. “Classic old guys.”
BH: I think we’ve gotten about as much out of those 60 seconds as we can. So why don’t we watch what I think is the Japanese trailer? It’s twice as long.
AZW: This makes it seem more serious.
BH: Okay, so my thinking is Ryuzo is a retired yakuza boss and the young yakuza want something from him, like a payment, but the guy who comes to collect is a wimp and runs when he offers to cut off his finger instead. So, I think he rounds up the guys to 1) get these guys off his back but also 2) to like take over their turf since they are wimps.
AZW: Yeah, that tracks. There’s something about how they have no money and they seem to be doing a heist of some kind at one point.
BH: Yeah, they're robbing yakuza because everyone at the office has lots of product in their hair. Yakuza put product in their hair, cops wear coach’s jackets
AZW: The classic yakuza hairdo. My Japanese friend Izumi informed me that it is called a “punch perm.” Essential info.
BH: So, I think we know what the movie is about?
AZW: Yeah, I mean it's def about old guys kicking ass.
BH: Ryuzo is out of the game, but the young guys are trying to shake him down, so he gets the gang back together to get revenge. And Beat has to make sure things don't get too out of hand.
AZW: Yeah, Beat is playing referee. Like 'don't make me get involved in this!'
BH: What kind of movie do you think this is? Some kind of Sandler-esque romp?
AZW: It does seem pretty broad, yes. But not sure about Sandler...this more reminds me of like, what was that movie that came out a few years ago with Morgan Freeman and Helen Mirren?
BH: Red, according to Google. With Bruce Willis. It was about old spies.
AZW: I didn't see it but, yeah, a similar vibe. Like 'these young whippersnappers are underestimating us!'
BH: It seems very absurd.
AZW: Yeah, all of the individual character costumes, etc.
BH: Which goes into what you were saying earlier about Kitano. He's really into the absurdity of life. There’s always something to laugh about.
AZW: Laugh through the tears. Or the blood.
That’s it for the eighth installment of Beat Happenings. Next issue, I’ll actually write about Outrage Coda. When Andrew and I finally locate a full copy of Ryuzo and the Seven Henchmen, we plan (or, according to Andrew, “threaten”) to run an even longer liveblog of it in a future issue. In the meantime, I’d love to hear any comments or suggestions you may have about the newsletter. Just reply to this email and let me know what you think.